aftermorphs
by lilmisgenetic
Summary: after math, some time after the last book.


Aftermorphs  
  
Chapter One Cassie  
  
Hey, it's me. Cassie. You don't really need to know my last name or any other information about me. Not for any particular reason or anything like it used to be. It just doesn't matter .  
  
I haven't seen Jake for about three and a half years. Marco or Tobias either. Ever since they left to save Ax...  
  
I broke up with Ronnie. Just couldn't take it. Everyone being gone. Jake being gone. You know what they say, I guess. You never miss something 'till it's gone. Guess I should have taken Jake up on his proposal.  
  
My parents died two years ago in an accident. I fell apart after that. No more sweet Cassie. No more tree hugger. To hell with the trees. Everything else abandoned me. First Rachel. Jake. Tobias. Marco. What did I have left to be good for? So I traded my horses in for motorcycles. Spiked up my wardrobe a little bit-lowriders, freak tees, spikes and chains- not too over the top like some sad rebel wannabe who doesn't know the first thing about hurt and pain. And I'll just come straight out and say that I got a tatoo. Animorph for life. Couple ear piercings-JUST my ears. I wear my hair down past my shoulders so that it looks like a black wave. Oh, you should have seen the press. " Cassie Cracks" and " What does break an Animorh? Not a three year war".  
  
So here I am hardened heart and no regrets. Riding my motorcycle. Somehow I found myself in front of Rachel's old house. Her mom and a sisters moved sometime shortly after the war. A new family lived in it now. I could see them eating through the window. Nice little family. Like Rachel used to have. Like Rachel still should have.  
  
" Makes you wonder doesn't it?"  
  
Footsteps I hadn't heard. A voice I barely recognized. I did a full 360.  
  
" Jordan?"  
  
Chapter Two Jordan  
  
"Yeah. It's me, Cassie." I nodded my head toward the house that used to be my home. " So what are you doing here?"  
  
She looked at me through pleading eyes. It was like she wanted to apologize for ... Rachel. Take all my sorrow away. Erase all my pain. Well it wasn't happening here and I'd be screwed if I let her feel sorry for me.  
  
" Don't" I said.  
  
She nodded her head in a silent agreement.  
  
" So what are you doing here?"  
  
" Probably same as you."  
  
Cassie didn't try to lighten the mood which was slightly of the norm for her. Then again, this probably was the new and improved no BS Cassie.  
  
Just then my stomach growled.  
  
" Whoa, chick," Cassie said."How about we get some grub?"  
  
I looked away and kind of giggled. " How bout we?"  
  
Cassie let her features slip into a smile.  
  
Chapter Three Cassie  
  
Ever ride a motorcycle? It's not the coolest thing in the world, but it'd deviantly make the top ten. Just imagine. Sheer power between your legs, the wind in your hair. Yep. A girl could defianly get used to this. But boy are they loud. Oh well. The better to drone out the reality of life.  
  
" So where're we going?!" Jordan yelled in my ear.  
  
" I don't know! You in the mood for pizza?!"  
  
" Sure!"  
  
" Benko's it is then!"  
  
Picture this. Dem lit room(and like any resaurant, freezing as always!) Booths, and the smell of delicious food that's so bad for you, but so, so good add in some music and you get Benko's.  
  
" So 'dan, what you want on your tombstone?"  
  
" Umm...pepperoni sounds good right about now."  
  
" Okay."  
  
You know, with all the technology they have now-human and Andalite- you'd think they'd have figured out a way to get your pizza to you in five minutes instead of forty.  
  
" Oh, this looks so good," were the first words to come out of Jordan's mouth when the pizza arrived.  
  
We ate in silence mostly the occasional peek up at each other. In about ten to fifteen minutes we were done.  
  
" Wow" Jordan said unbuttoning the first few buttons of her pants." That was defianly the best meal I've had in oh, about two years."  
  
" Yeah. Now for something to wash it down with." I called a waeter ans ordered us drinks. A Sprite for me and a Pepsi for Jordan.  
  
Jordan took a few sips of hers while looking around. She was thinking. I knew what was coming next. I kept hoping...  
  
" So," she said,"do you miss Jake?"  
  
So much for that.  
  
I looked away. I didn't know what to say.  
  
" I'm sorry," Jordan said " Maybe that was a little-"  
  
"No. No, it's okay. I just..."  
  
" You just what?"  
  
I suddenly found an interest in playing with my nails." I just don't know with me and Jake. Not anymore. It's been so long... I didn't accept his proposal-"  
  
Jordan cut me off." Proposal? Jake asked you to marry him?"  
  
" Well, yea-"  
  
" And you turned him down?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
" Cassie, how could you?! You and Jake were in love. Practically inseparable. Jake and Cassie, Cassie and Jake"  
  
" Oh, please," I rolled my eyes.  
  
" But didn't you like...you know... love him?"  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
" Then what happened?"  
  
I had never really thought about, but the answer came as fast and clear to me as ever. " The war happened," I said."War."  
  
Chapter four Jordan  
  
I got a ride home from Cassie. It was late . I didn't expect anybody to be up so I was surprised for a second when I saw my mom sitting on the couch. She was staring at a tv that wasn't on. I knew what was going on. All too well. I had seen too much of it not to. Sometimes when you're alone, your mind becomes idle and wonders into things you'd rather not think about. But by the time you realize what's happened it's too late.  
  
That's what was going on. Mother was thinking about Rachel. And about dad. He didn't make it. They say they think he was in a Yeerk when it blew. When the Animorphs blew it up.  
  
I tried to sneak past my mom. I just didn't want to deal with it right know, but I guess she heard me come in.  
  
"It was my fault,"she said, her eyes still on the blank tv screen."I keep asking myself and that's the answer I keep getting. I keep thinking maybe, just maybe if I'd just paid attention, if I wasn't so consumed in my work, I would have seen it. The late nights... the excuses...that fact that she was never there at home..." her voice began to crack but regained itself again. She then removed her eyes from the screen then locked them on me and said"then my daughter might still be alive."  
  
I looked over to the stairs and saw a now thirteen year old Sahre clutching a locket with a picture of her biggest sister in it.  
Chapter Five Cassie  
I got home around one. I live in a loft. Not really that much to look at, just some chairs, an official eating area and a bed.  
It was good to see Jordan. Gosh, she looks so much like Rachel. From what I saw tonight, though, she didn't take after her fashion sense. She wore some plain blue jeans and a pullover. Something Rachel would defiantly wouldn't approve of.  
  
"Home sweet home", I said as I came in. I put my keys down and was taking my jacket of when I saw something out of order. Not in its place. I walked over to the coffee table and picked up my gun.-yes I have a gun- looked at it like it was something I'd just found. I checked for the clip I'd put in there. Gone.  
Now, I'm not stupid and I don't believe in coincidences. That gun had been hidden. Hidden well. And Jake never would have intrusted the blue box to me if I couldn't hide it.  
Someone had been in my loft. And from the looks of no forced entry and no open window, they were good. In fact they could still be in here.  
As if in answer, instinct compelled me to turn around to behold the vandle. There a guy around my age stood. He was somewhat... familiar. I think I knew who it was. My eyes widened. Yes I defiantly knew who it was.  
  
"Erek?"  
  
Chapter Six Jordan  
  
Melissa Chapman. Her father played a major role in the Yeerk invasion. After it was over, she came by to give us her condolences. She was a singer now. I actually like some of her songs. I leaned on the back of the couch looking at her on tv singing along.  
  
If only, if only -the rain wouldn't fall from the sky-I wouldn't cry , or think I'd be able to die-nine nights you hold me-the tenth, I'm wondering where you are-are you to far " away," Sara chimed in.  
Away to hear me call  
five angels sing-1,000 melodies-about the goodness-heaven will bring- I'll wait and see- until then I'll be here-wrapped up inside(away) escaping all my fears  
  
Sara and I gave each other high fives and laughed.  
  
"Hey, sis," Sara said,"how come we never hang out anymore?"  
  
That caught me of guard."Um...well "I shrugged." I don't know"  
  
"Ever since Rachel...Rachel died, it's like you shut me out."  
  
"Uh..."  
Just then the door bell rang. Thank goodness. I was so not liking that conversation. By the time I got to the door, my mom had already gotten it. It was cassie.  
  
"Hey," she said. She looked nervous. "Can I speak to Jordan? Please?"  
  
"Sure." Mom was about to call for me but saw that I was already there.  
"What's up?" I said.  
  
"Uh, wanna tak-" she looked behind me."Hi, Sara."  
  
Sara nodded.  
  
Cassie turned her attention back to me. "Wanna take a walk?"  
  
The look in her eyes clearly read "trouble".  
  
"Okay. Just let me get my jacket"  
  
We walked in silence for a block or two until we came to a black limo.  
  
"Get in," Cassie said.  
  
I did so and Cassie climbed in behind me. There was a guy sitting in the back. Cassie got strait to the point.  
  
"Jake's in trouble and I need your help."  
  
"Jake? You've heard from him?"  
  
"No, but I'll go into the details later. Right now I just need to know if your willing to do this or not."  
  
"What's to decide? If Jake needs my he-"  
  
" I know, Jordan, but this is big. We're talking out of space here. Aliens. Battles. Bloodshed. Jordan, the last thing I want you to do is to end up like... like Rachel." Cassie held out her hand." Are you with me?"  
  
I looked at it for a good few seconds. Was I with her? Was I ready to endure all the things my big sister had. Was I willing to die if necessary? This was a big decision. It could mean my life. Another daughter lost to a war. Me, my mother and Sara were all each other had.  
  
Was I willing to give all that up?  
  
I took Cassie's hand. " I'm with you."  
  
"Okay then." The guy in the back with us spoke for the first time. He looked somewhat resentful. "Let's do this."  
  
Chapter Seven Cassie  
  
Jake was in trouble. That's what Erek came to tell me. He, Marco, Tobias, and Ax were probably in it deep.  
  
Jordan agreed to go along with us. I didn't want her to...really, I didn't. But Jake...  
  
If I knew anyone them out of this jam, it was Rachel. But I didn't have Rachel. So I got the next best thing. Jordan.  
  
So we let Jordan go back home to wrap some things up. We where leaving tomorrow before dawn. Meanwhile, I was at Erek's house. It was nice as always. We went down to his 'basement' with all of his beloved dogs. Why does Erek have an underground full of dogs, you ask. Well, Erek isn't exactly human. He's an android. A chee. The chee are a peaceful alien race. Their home was obliterated a long, long time ago and the only remnants of them are their androids. Nice gentle things. They wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. They programed that way. They got of their programing once. Erek saved us in a battle we would not have won, but he also killed many. I think it was really devastating for him. He never killed again. Right before the war ended, Jake blackmailed him into doing something he really didn't want to. Erek drained the pool ship and because of that Rachel died in vain.  
  
I could tell Erek wasn't too thrilled about going on this mission. He didn't have to, so I wondered why he was.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.  
  
I think the question caught him off guard. He shrugged."To be honest, I feel like it's my duty to make up for what I did. Draining the pool ship. Even though Jake had no right to do what he did to me."  
  
I nodded my head in agreement.  
  
"I just think that maybe if I wouldn't have done that, we wouldn't have this problem now."  
Agreeable. But still...  
  
"Erek..."  
  
I looked at him and he looked back at me square in the eye. In those few moments, all things in the past were set aside and forgiven.  
  
Chapter Eight Jordan  
  
I was packing as fast as I could. I shoved as many clothes as I thought I would need in the biggest suit case I could find. The rest of my necessities went into a book sack.  
  
Cassie and Erek(the quiet guy in the car)said that the time we'd actually be spending in space was nowhere near certain. We could be there for a few days, months, even years.  
  
'Knock, knock'  
  
It was Sara. I thought I'd closed that door. I really didn't want her or my mother to know what I was doing.  
  
"Can I come in?" She asked.  
  
I tried to hide the suit case. "Uh, it's really not a good time."  
  
Then she noticed the luggage on the bed. A look of bewilderment mixed with pure horrofication crossed her face in all of an instant.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Sara-"  
  
"Does this have something to do with Cassie?!YOU CAN'T GO!!!" She ran out of the room screaming."Mom! Mom!"  
  
"What's wrong honey?"  
  
"Jordan. She's-she's leaving us!"  
"What?"  
  
Sara buried her face in mother's hair."She's leaving. Just like Rachel. Don't let her go mom. Don't let her go." She sobbed into my mom's shoulder and mom rubbed her head in an attempt to calm her.  
  
I was just making it down the stairs. Non got up from squatting and glared at me."What's going on?" she asked.  
  
Chapter Nine Cassie  
  
This was the spot that we were supposed to meet. This was where we would depart for our journey. Erek, Jordan, and I. I started to round up Toby and a few of her gang.  
  
Erek had said,"No. No more."  
  
And I guess he was right. The less you bring, the less you lose.  
  
You're probably wondering just how we plan to pull this little outer space road trip. Well Erek arranged for a ship. I guess he has connections. Don't ask me. I really don't know and I think Erek liked it that way.  
  
I stood there by the ship practically hopping from leg to leg. No, I didn't have to take care of any business before we left. I wasn't nervous either. After all, I spent three years of my life facing certain death. It was just that we were leaving in five minutes and Jordan wasn't here yet.  
  
I looked at Erek. He looked away. Figures.  
  
Finally I saw headlights. It was a van. Why would Jordan arrive in a van. My question was soon asked. Unfortunately.  
  
Jordan's mom was the first to get out.  
  
Chapter Ten Jordan  
  
I saw bewilderment I Cassies eyes.  
  
My mom said hi to Cassie like was nothing even slightly wrong with the situation.  
  
"Um... hey," Cassie said back.  
  
I walked up to her with my luggage.  
  
"What is going on?" Erek asked.  
  
"She found out, Cassie. And now she had to go and invite three other people to come along."  
  
She looked around me an stared in horror at all the people getting out of the van.  
  
There was Marcos mom (she used to be host body to visser one) and dad. And Loren. Tobiass mother though she had no memory of him or Elfangor. Or so I was told. I didn't really get the details on that story.  
  
Erek spoke up for the second time. "Cassie, I don't feel comfortable bringing them. Too big of a risk. Eva? Maybe. But the rest..."  
  
I looked into Cassie's eyes pleading. If my mom didn't go, there was no way she was going to let me get on that ship.  
  
Cassie looked back at me with equally sympathetic eyes. You know, maybe she hadn't lost all her compassion.  
  
Chapter Eleven Cassie  
  
"Give me and Erek a minute to talk," I said.  
  
Erek and I went aboard the ship. I was surprised at first because of the design. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. Not Andalite. Defiantly not yeerk. It looked more advanced.  
  
Erek must have read my mind."It's Chee," he said. Then he quickly got to the point. "Cassie, this is a dangerous mission. We are most likely to die. Well you and Jordan any way. We can't just endanger the lives of innocent people."  
  
"But Erek, these are their children. We can't deny them the right to try and save them."  
  
We talked for a few minutes more before we came to a dission.  
  
I stood on the launch pad bridge thingy. Erek stood a few feet behind me. I spoke up so to make sure that my voice could be heard loud and clear. I-and Erek- wanted to make sure these people knew what kind of mess they were about to get in. We knew Eva would be able to handle it, but Naomi? We tried that going-into-hiding-thing earlier before the war ended and it did not work out too well. We were doing something very important and Naomi tried to escape. She was defiantly a potential risk.  
  
"Okay, everyone, listen up. This is not a game, or some wild, thrilling, exciting adventure. This is real. Real life. Real battles. Real death. Now we don't want anyone to get hurt, but we...we understand that these are your love ones. And in being so, we also understand that you'll do anything to try and save them. Go through any suffering. Endure any pain." For some reason, I don't know what it was, an image of Jake found its way into my mind. And I realized that I wasn't just talking to them but to myself as well. "Go through a thousand deaths,"I finished my thought. "But please, please think long and hard before you make this life changing decision." Few seconds pause. "Any body want to turn around now and go home is welcome. You won't be thought of as a coward just... smart." I looked at still faces. The only places these people would be moving is on that ship. I waited a few seconds more for any one whose little voice was nawing at the back of there minds. No takers. "All right." Your funeral, I added silently.  
  
Chapter Twelve Jordan  
  
Being on a ship is great. Once you get over the fact that you're a gazillion feet above the ground, anyway. We were on a Chee ship. I don't exactly know who the chee are or what one is, for that matter, but they make a cool ship. They have this big windshield thing but like in the top of the ship, above the sleeping quaters. The stars are so beautiful! You can just sleep up there and forget about your worries, forget about the past, and even the future, and just be in that moment in time and be under the stars. I wonder...I wonder if Rachel ever felt this way. The way I feel...  
  
"Jordan." My mom broke my thoughts. "Meeting."  
  
"Oh. Ok"  
  
We met in an area that looked like something straight out of an Arabic fairy tale. Brightly colored fabrics highlighted with gold trimming and design. Statues and my favorite: big, comfortable, overstuffed, floor pillows. We each had one. We sat Indian style on them in a circle. Mom was to my right, Peter to her right, then Eve, Cassie, Erek, and Loren to my left.  
  
My mom spoke up. Must be the lawyer in her. She is such a control freak, and she doesn't evan know it. Things just absolutely go her way.  
  
"Cassie thought that it would be a good idea if we all got to know a little bit about each other," she began. "I think it is best for us, giving our current situation, to maybe learn somewhat personal things about one another. Our likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses..." she let her voice trail. There was no one who really wanted to go first. "Well, we'll start with me. I'm Naomi Berenson. This is my daughter Jordan. I'm a lawyer and um... uumm...I like maccaroni and chese?"  
  
Everyone laughed which lightened the mood a bit.  
  
Cassie spoke next. "Well, I think you all know me. Cassie or the Cassie as in Animorph Cassie. I work for the government with the free Hork Bajar. Uh... Rachel...Rachel was my best friend. Jake was um..."  
  
"Your special friend," I said. Mentioning Rachel had gotten to me.  
  
It sure got mom perked up. "What? You and Jake?"  
  
Cassie gave me a look that friend give each other when one spills about the other's secret crush. To tell you the truth I was made at Cassie right then. She should be with Jake. One reason being that she and Jake were made for each other. Another reason being was that a good guy like Jake was hard to come by.  
  
"Yep. He even asked her to marry him before the war ended."  
  
"JORDAN!!!"  
  
"She turned him down."  
  
Cassie looked like she was about to die from embarrassment.  
  
"What!!!" Mom.  
  
"What?"Erek. The tone he said that word in whipped the blushes and smiles off of every ones faces. I was starting to regret ever saying anything at all.  
  
"Erek, is there something wrong,"mom asked.  
  
"Cassie, can I talk to you."  
  
She nodded her head a followed him out of the room. But just before a gave her an apologetic glance. She gave me a signal that it was okay.  
  
A few seconds of deathly silence passed after they left. Then we resumed getting to know each other, one by one. Chapter Thirteen Cassie  
I followed Erek to a small part of the ship that looked like a glassed in balcony. The stars were beautiful but the mood was not.  
  
"Cassie, you disappoint me greatly. I told you Jake needed you. How can you not be together?"  
  
"Wait a minute. Why is it so important wether Jake and I are together? And besides, you heard what Jordan said. He proposed to me before the war ended. You told me this after."  
  
"Cassie, Jake need's you, and I in a way you need Him. No matter what you two may think."  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Please, Erek. Jake doesn't need me. He needs the war. Maybe he didn't before. Maybe if we'd have never walked through that construction site, things would be different. He would be different. But we did, and we fought, but Jake just can't seem to shake that off of him."  
  
It was true. After the war, Jake was a different person. Different from my Jake, the one before the war. And even different from the Jake during the war. At least that Jake knew what to do with himself. But the after-war-Jake. He was idle. He didn't go forward or even back. He just stayed in neutral.  
  
"But he needs you there. He needs you by his side. All his accomplishments, all his victories, there in vain without you. Don't you see? Your like this goal that he never reached and is never going to reach and it's going to tear him up inside and no matter how much good stuff he does, it's never going to be enough."  
  
I seldom got mad, but I was mad right then. Mad because Erek was right. Mad because he knew what to do, and it was crystal clear and I didn't even see it. Mad because he made it seem so easy. But mostly mad because it was the truth. And I didn't want to hear it.  
  
I said the only thing I could think of right then. "Yeah? Well you can go tell Jake that," I snapped and walked out of the room.  
  
Chapter Fourteen Jordan  
  
Man oh man, Eva and Peter sure had a lot to deal with. Especially Eva. I couldn't believe she was host to visser one. Of course I knew but she'd never actually told us about it. Must have been terrifying, what she went through. She was so brave. Even after she was free going back to give earth a sure chance.  
And Peter, he even got married to someone else. No wonder Marco was all worked up. His mother wasn't dead.  
  
And Loren. I'm not even sure why she's here. She's Tobias's mother ,as you probably well know, and Elfangor, the Andalite, his father, but she doesn't remember either of them. But you know? It's cool because she loves both of them just the same. But still. I can sense it. There's something in the back of her mind. Something that she needs to know.  
  
And in all of an instant it all became clear to me. I knew why she was here.  
  
She needed answers. Because without them, she was incomplete.  
  
Chapter Fifteen Cassie  
  
It was our second day aboard the ship. Jordan was loving it. Her favorite part was the sky. Her mother, Naomi, told me that back home she loved to look up at the stars. They were the only thing certain in this life. The stars would always be. You could count on them to. Unlike some people.  
  
My anger for Jake, that I never knew I had, arose. How dare he? How dare he make decisions with my life? All our lives. How dare he use us to his liking to win the war? He had NO right. How dare he, how dare he, how dare he...  
  
The notion kept repeating itself in my mind until I felt the water begin to fill my eyes. How dare he...until the tears begin to roll down my cheeks. How dare he...Like a slow steady chant. How dare he, how dare he, how dare he...  
  
Then everything went black.  
  
Suddenly I wasn't in this world anymore. I was in another one, where you could see clearly between night and day. Dark and light. There were no merges. No shades of gray. Just a plain distinct line separating good and evil.  
  
Then I knew. I felt it. Crayak. Not just him, though. The Ellimist also. I could hear them talking to me. No, it was more like a feeling. From both the inside and the out at the same time. I felt them speak to me. Through me.  
  
Crayak. Crayak was stronger. There were flashes. Flashes of Jake. The war. Death. Rachel. My parents. The living creatures I've killed. The yeerks. The Ellimist. And it made me mad. It made me sick. And the anger grew inside me until I felt like I was about to explode.  
  
And then. Then there was the Ellimist. Not the one that angered me, but the one that tried to reason with me. He showed me images too. But good ones. And the calmed me. And they soothed me.  
  
My breathing became steady. My eyes opened. I was on the floor with everyone around me.  
  
"What...what happened?"I asked.  
  
Jordan spoke. "You fainted...I think. And you started to shake real violently. And then you stopped."  
  
Oh, but something more than that happened, I thought. Something much more. I knew this. I realized. It was a battle between good and evil. And good had won.  
  
This time.  
  
Chapter Sixteen Jordan  
  
What had just happened with Cassie a few hours earlier was way freaky. She just fell, and it was like she was having a seizure or something.  
  
Now she's on bed rest. Erek's order. Excuse me: Dr.Erek. Apparently he had been some kind of medical person a really, really long time ago.  
  
"Jordan?" It was my mom.  
  
"What is it?" I asked.  
  
"Ah, nothing. I just wanted to talk a bit. It's been a long time since we talked." She sat on the bed.  
  
"Yeah, okay. About what?"  
  
My mom let out a little chuckle. "You know, I don't really know. I was hopping you could start something up."  
  
'Knock, knock'  
  
It was Eva. "I'm sorry. I'll just come back later-"  
  
"NO, no," my mom protested, "it's okay. We could use the company."  
  
Eva sat on the bed too. Good thing it was queen size. Erek sure did know how to pick a girl's luxury items.  
"So, what're we talking about?"  
"So far..."I said, "nothing."  
  
Eva gave the thumbs up sign. "Cool," pause. Then, "so, have any secret crushes lately?"  
  
I didn't think your face could go beet red in a millisecond. I always assumed it was a gradual thing.  
  
"Yes," my mother prompted, "do tell."  
  
I suddenly thought of someone. "I always thought Marco was cute."  
  
"Uh. A mother's pride and joy," Eva said with mock passion.  
  
"Really? I've never really seen Marco. I mean I've seen him, but I never, like, paid any attention to his looks."  
  
"You probably didn't see him." Eva said. "What, with your super model height and him being a bit...short."  
  
We all burst out laughing.  
  
"Don't tell Marco I said that," she laughed. "But really, who knows maybe if we find them-"  
  
"Which we will," my mom said reassuringly.  
  
"-maybe something might spark. I would love to see my son with a girl like you. Not some bimbo who runs of with some tycoon the second he goes missing."  
  
"Thanks" I said.  
  
I guess all the love talk got us to thinking about Cassie and Jake.  
  
"You know," Eva said, "it's really a shame that Cassie and Jake aren't together. They would have made a really nice couple."  
  
"Tell me about it," I muttered.  
  
"I wish this whole war would have never started in the first place."  
  
"What? And have a totally normal life?" I told my mom. "Not likely."  
  
"It's just so unfair."  
Yes. It was unfair. It really was.  
  
Chapter Seventeen Cassie  
  
When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Loren. It surprised me that she would do that. I mean, she didn't even know me.  
  
"Hey. You feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah," I said sitting up. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I just came by to check up on you. Isn't like I have a whole lot to do around here."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Is that a problem?"  
  
"No, it's fine." She propped the pillows up behind my back. "And greatly appreciated."  
  
She sat back down in the chair.  
  
"Something's bothering you," I told her.  
  
She shook her head and her eyes fluttered. "I-it's nothing. Just..."  
  
"What?"  
  
She then looked at me square in the eye. "Did you see him?"  
  
I knew who she was talking about. Elfangor.  
  
"Yes. Everything Tobias probably told was true. He is your son. Elfangor was your husband. And... and we did see him. Only once though. When... when visser three killed him."  
  
Loren started to cry. "It's not fair," she said disgustedly.  
  
"You're right Loren. It isn't fair. None of it. The war. Rachel. Me. Jake. My parents. Everything. And knowing the Ellimist, you probably had this wonderful life before. But in another life. And you know what else? It was probably yanked from you in the blink of an eye, just like us. And it isn't fair. To you, me, and even all the other people we effect. But it is. And now we have to deal with it. Now we can either win this war, like Marco did, or we can either let it win us, like Jake. What's it gonna be?"  
  
In the end, no matter how Loren felt, no matter how scared she was, how intimidated, I knew that she would make the right choice. She would give it her all. For her. For Elfangor, a love she, in this lifetime, never knew. And for Tobias, a son she would always love regardless. She would be strong. She would tough it out. For them, she would.  
  
For them.  
  
Chapter Eighteen Jordan  
  
I was in the shower when I heard the announcement. They had found a yeerk ship. Two actually. A blade ship-the blade ship- and a simpler yeerk ship.  
  
I got out of the shower and dried off as fast as I could. I ran into Cassi-collided with her actually-and we both almost fell down. We were both thinking the same thing. One word was running through both our minds. Jake.  
  
Well, maybe two for me. I think there was a flash of Marco somewhere up there in my head-but mostly Jake.  
  
Oh goodness, this had to be it. This had to be them. If it was, we could all go home. Everything would be alright. We could all go home and live the normal lives we were supposed to have.  
  
Yeah right, Jordan, wishful thinking.  
  
I reached the bridge a few minutes after Cassie. Every one else was already there.  
  
"Is it them?" I practically screamed, "is it them?"  
  
"We don't know," Erek said. His tone was surprisingly calm. Must be the android in him.  
  
"It looks different. Like they changed it." Eva.  
  
Cassie was glaring intensely at the screen. You'd think it was about to burst. She was mouthing something. 'Come on,' I think.  
  
I focused my attention back on the screen instead of on her.  
  
"Look!" Loren cried pointing at the screen.  
It was another ship coming up fast behind the smaller yeerk ship. It fired! The smaller yeerk ship jolted paused in for a few seconds as it's lights went out because of system failure.  
  
"Erek..." Cassie.  
  
Erek didn't answer, just worked some controls. Suddenly a light came from the chee ship we were in. It shown all the way to and over the failed ship, and as if it were magnetized, 'dragged' it to us.  
  
"There are no life forms aboard," Erek said. "I'm bringing it in anyway. Maybe we can check it out. The real battle's inside, though. If Jake and the others are even here, they must be inside."  
  
"Erek. What kind of weapons does the ship carry?" Cassie asked. Looking him square in the eyes. It seemed as though she were expecting there not to be any, but asked anyway just for hope's sake.  
  
He looked back at her with mirrored eyes. "None."  
  
Cassie looked slightly mad, but like I said, I believe she was expecting that answer.  
  
"This ship has no weapons?!" Eva asked in disbelief.  
  
"It's a chee thing," Cassie. "I should have known."  
  
"How about a force field?" Eva agian.  
  
"Already up."  
  
"Is it any good? Will it hold if in combat?"  
  
"Chee technology is more advanced than Andalite," Cassie said. "Way more advanced. It'll hold."  
  
"It's in," Erek said. "The ship."  
  
Oh. I was wondering what he was talking about at first.  
  
"Maybe one of us could go and check it out." It was the first time I'd actually heard Peter speak. "I could go if you want."  
  
Erek considered that. "Be careful. We don't know what you'll find."  
  
"I'll go with you," Eva said.  
"Me too," Naomi.  
  
The three were on their way to the hold, then the screen started to snow in and make that irritating noise it does when a channel on tv is having technical difficulty.  
  
"Eva, Naomi, the screen!" Loren cried.  
  
The screen started to come clear.  
  
"If we can be able to see them, then they can be able to see us," Erek said.  
  
I don't think anyone really had paid attention to what he'd just said. With very good reason. I'd never seen anything like I was seeing know on screen.  
  
Chapter Nineteen Jake  
  
Searing pain ran through my shoulder blade. Nothing new really. I was in my tiger morph. Nothing new either. Just like before.  
  
Hey, I'm Jake. Few know me as a normal human teenager-or man now. Most know me as Jake the Animorph. Aftermorphs  
  
Chapter One Cassie  
  
Hey, it's me. Cassie. You don't really need to know my last name or any other information about me. Not for any particular reason or anything like it used to be. It just doesn't matter .  
  
I haven't seen Jake for about three and a half years. Marco or Tobias either. Ever since they left to save Ax...  
  
I broke up with Ronnie. Just couldn't take it. Everyone being gone. Jake being gone. You know what they say, I guess. You never miss something 'till it's gone. Guess I should have taken Jake up on his proposal.  
  
My parents died two years ago in an accident. I fell apart after that. No more sweet Cassie. No more tree hugger. To hell with the trees. Everything else abandoned me. First Rachel. Jake. Tobias. Marco. What did I have left to be good for? So I traded my horses in for motorcycles. Spiked up my wardrobe a little bit-lowriders, freak tees, spikes and chains- not too over the top like some sad rebel wannabe who doesn't know the first thing about hurt and pain. And I'll just come straight out and say that I got a tatoo. Animorph for life. Couple ear piercings-JUST my ears. I wear my hair down past my shoulders so that it looks like a black wave. Oh, you should have seen the press. " Cassie Cracks" and " What does break an Animorh? Not a three year war".  
  
So here I am hardened heart and no regrets. Riding my motorcycle. Somehow I found myself in front of Rachel's old house. Her mom and a sisters moved sometime shortly after the war. A new family lived in it now. I could see them eating through the window. Nice little family. Like Rachel used to have. Like Rachel still should have.  
  
" Makes you wonder doesn't it?"  
  
Footsteps I hadn't heard. A voice I barely recognized. I did a full 360.  
  
" Jordan?"  
  
Chapter Two Jordan  
  
"Yeah. It's me, Cassie." I nodded my head toward the house that used to be my home. " So what are you doing here?"  
  
She looked at me through pleading eyes. It was like she wanted to apologize for ... Rachel. Take all my sorrow away. Erase all my pain. Well it wasn't happening here and I'd be screwed if I let her feel sorry for me.  
  
" Don't" I said.  
  
She nodded her head in a silent agreement.  
  
" So what are you doing here?"  
  
" Probably same as you."  
  
Cassie didn't try to lighten the mood which was slightly of the norm for her. Then again, this probably was the new and improved no BS Cassie.  
  
Just then my stomach growled.  
  
" Whoa, chick," Cassie said."How about we get some grub?"  
  
I looked away and kind of giggled. " How bout we?"  
  
Cassie let her features slip into a smile.  
  
Chapter Three Cassie  
  
Ever ride a motorcycle? It's not the coolest thing in the world, but it'd deviantly make the top ten. Just imagine. Sheer power between your legs, the wind in your hair. Yep. A girl could defianly get used to this. But boy are they loud. Oh well. The better to drone out the reality of life.  
  
" So where're we going?!" Jordan yelled in my ear.  
  
" I don't know! You in the mood for pizza?!"  
  
" Sure!"  
  
" Benko's it is then!"  
  
Picture this. Dem lit room(and like any resaurant, freezing as always!) Booths, and the smell of delicious food that's so bad for you, but so, so good add in some music and you get Benko's.  
  
" So 'dan, what you want on your tombstone?"  
  
" Umm...pepperoni sounds good right about now."  
  
" Okay."  
  
You know, with all the technology they have now-human and Andalite- you'd think they'd have figured out a way to get your pizza to you in five minutes instead of forty.  
  
" Oh, this looks so good," were the first words to come out of Jordan's mouth when the pizza arrived.  
  
We ate in silence mostly the occasional peek up at each other. In about ten to fifteen minutes we were done.  
  
" Wow" Jordan said unbuttoning the first few buttons of her pants." That was defianly the best meal I've had in oh, about two years."  
  
" Yeah. Now for something to wash it down with." I called a waeter ans ordered us drinks. A Sprite for me and a Pepsi for Jordan.  
  
Jordan took a few sips of hers while looking around. She was thinking. I knew what was coming next. I kept hoping...  
  
" So," she said,"do you miss Jake?"  
  
So much for that.  
  
I looked away. I didn't know what to say.  
  
" I'm sorry," Jordan said " Maybe that was a little-"  
  
"No. No, it's okay. I just..."  
  
" You just what?"  
  
I suddenly found an interest in playing with my nails." I just don't know with me and Jake. Not anymore. It's been so long... I didn't accept his proposal-"  
  
Jordan cut me off." Proposal? Jake asked you to marry him?"  
  
" Well, yea-"  
  
" And you turned him down?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
" Cassie, how could you?! You and Jake were in love. Practically inseparable. Jake and Cassie, Cassie and Jake"  
  
" Oh, please," I rolled my eyes.  
  
" But didn't you like...you know... love him?"  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
" Then what happened?"  
  
I had never really thought about, but the answer came as fast and clear to me as ever. " The war happened," I said."War."  
  
Chapter four Jordan  
  
I got a ride home from Cassie. It was late . I didn't expect anybody to be up so I was surprised for a second when I saw my mom sitting on the couch. She was staring at a tv that wasn't on. I knew what was going on. All too well. I had seen too much of it not to. Sometimes when you're alone, your mind becomes idle and wonders into things you'd rather not think about. But by the time you realize what's happened it's too late.  
  
That's what was going on. Mother was thinking about Rachel. And about dad. He didn't make it. They say they think he was in a Yeerk when it blew. When the Animorphs blew it up.  
  
I tried to sneak past my mom. I just didn't want to deal with it right know, but I guess she heard me come in.  
  
"It was my fault,"she said, her eyes still on the blank tv screen."I keep asking myself and that's the answer I keep getting. I keep thinking maybe, just maybe if I'd just paid attention, if I wasn't so consumed in my work, I would have seen it. The late nights... the excuses...that fact that she was never there at home..." her voice began to crack but regained itself again. She then removed her eyes from the screen then locked them on me and said"then my daughter might still be alive."  
  
I looked over to the stairs and saw a now thirteen year old Sahre clutching a locket with a picture of her biggest sister in it.  
Chapter Five Cassie  
I got home around one. I live in a loft. Not really that much to look at, just some chairs, an official eating area and a bed.  
It was good to see Jordan. Gosh, she looks so much like Rachel. From what I saw tonight, though, she didn't take after her fashion sense. She wore some plain blue jeans and a pullover. Something Rachel would defiantly wouldn't approve of.  
  
"Home sweet home", I said as I came in. I put my keys down and was taking my jacket of when I saw something out of order. Not in its place. I walked over to the coffee table and picked up my gun.-yes I have a gun- looked at it like it was something I'd just found. I checked for the clip I'd put in there. Gone.  
Now, I'm not stupid and I don't believe in coincidences. That gun had been hidden. Hidden well. And Jake never would have intrusted the blue box to me if I couldn't hide it.  
Someone had been in my loft. And from the looks of no forced entry and no open window, they were good. In fact they could still be in here.  
As if in answer, instinct compelled me to turn around to behold the vandle. There a guy around my age stood. He was somewhat... familiar. I think I knew who it was. My eyes widened. Yes I defiantly knew who it was.  
  
"Erek?"  
  
Chapter Six Jordan  
  
Melissa Chapman. Her father played a major role in the Yeerk invasion. After it was over, she came by to give us her condolences. She was a singer now. I actually like some of her songs. I leaned on the back of the couch looking at her on tv singing along.  
  
If only, if only -the rain wouldn't fall from the sky-I wouldn't cry , or think I'd be able to die-nine nights you hold me-the tenth, I'm wondering where you are-are you to far " away," Sara chimed in.  
Away to hear me call  
five angels sing-1,000 melodies-about the goodness-heaven will bring- I'll wait and see- until then I'll be here-wrapped up inside(away) escaping all my fears  
  
Sara and I gave each other high fives and laughed.  
  
"Hey, sis," Sara said,"how come we never hang out anymore?"  
  
That caught me of guard."Um...well "I shrugged." I don't know"  
  
"Ever since Rachel...Rachel died, it's like you shut me out."  
  
"Uh..."  
Just then the door bell rang. Thank goodness. I was so not liking that conversation. By the time I got to the door, my mom had already gotten it. It was cassie.  
  
"Hey," she said. She looked nervous. "Can I speak to Jordan? Please?"  
  
"Sure." Mom was about to call for me but saw that I was already there.  
"What's up?" I said.  
  
"Uh, wanna tak-" she looked behind me."Hi, Sara."  
  
Sara nodded.  
  
Cassie turned her attention back to me. "Wanna take a walk?"  
  
The look in her eyes clearly read "trouble".  
  
"Okay. Just let me get my jacket"  
  
We walked in silence for a block or two until we came to a black limo.  
  
"Get in," Cassie said.  
  
I did so and Cassie climbed in behind me. There was a guy sitting in the back. Cassie got strait to the point.  
  
"Jake's in trouble and I need your help."  
  
"Jake? You've heard from him?"  
  
"No, but I'll go into the details later. Right now I just need to know if your willing to do this or not."  
  
"What's to decide? If Jake needs my he-"  
  
" I know, Jordan, but this is big. We're talking out of space here. Aliens. Battles. Bloodshed. Jordan, the last thing I want you to do is to end up like... like Rachel." Cassie held out her hand." Are you with me?"  
  
I looked at it for a good few seconds. Was I with her? Was I ready to endure all the things my big sister had. Was I willing to die if necessary? This was a big decision. It could mean my life. Another daughter lost to a war. Me, my mother and Sara were all each other had.  
  
Was I willing to give all that up?  
  
I took Cassie's hand. " I'm with you."  
  
"Okay then." The guy in the back with us spoke for the first time. He looked somewhat resentful. "Let's do this."  
  
Chapter Seven Cassie  
  
Jake was in trouble. That's what Erek came to tell me. He, Marco, Tobias, and Ax were probably in it deep.  
  
Jordan agreed to go along with us. I didn't want her to...really, I didn't. But Jake...  
  
If I knew anyone them out of this jam, it was Rachel. But I didn't have Rachel. So I got the next best thing. Jordan.  
  
So we let Jordan go back home to wrap some things up. We where leaving tomorrow before dawn. Meanwhile, I was at Erek's house. It was nice as always. We went down to his 'basement' with all of his beloved dogs. Why does Erek have an underground full of dogs, you ask. Well, Erek isn't exactly human. He's an android. A chee. The chee are a peaceful alien race. Their home was obliterated a long, long time ago and the only remnants of them are their androids. Nice gentle things. They wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. They programed that way. They got of their programing once. Erek saved us in a battle we would not have won, but he also killed many. I think it was really devastating for him. He never killed again. Right before the war ended, Jake blackmailed him into doing something he really didn't want to. Erek drained the pool ship and because of that Rachel died in vain.  
  
I could tell Erek wasn't too thrilled about going on this mission. He didn't have to, so I wondered why he was.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.  
  
I think the question caught him off guard. He shrugged."To be honest, I feel like it's my duty to make up for what I did. Draining the pool ship. Even though Jake had no right to do what he did to me."  
  
I nodded my head in agreement.  
  
"I just think that maybe if I wouldn't have done that, we wouldn't have this problem now."  
Agreeable. But still...  
  
"Erek..."  
  
I looked at him and he looked back at me square in the eye. In those few moments, all things in the past were set aside and forgiven.  
  
Chapter Eight Jordan  
  
I was packing as fast as I could. I shoved as many clothes as I thought I would need in the biggest suit case I could find. The rest of my necessities went into a book sack.  
  
Cassie and Erek(the quiet guy in the car)said that the time we'd actually be spending in space was nowhere near certain. We could be there for a few days, months, even years.  
  
'Knock, knock'  
  
It was Sara. I thought I'd closed that door. I really didn't want her or my mother to know what I was doing.  
  
"Can I come in?" She asked.  
  
I tried to hide the suit case. "Uh, it's really not a good time."  
  
Then she noticed the luggage on the bed. A look of bewilderment mixed with pure horrofication crossed her face in all of an instant.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Sara-"  
  
"Does this have something to do with Cassie?!YOU CAN'T GO!!!" She ran out of the room screaming."Mom! Mom!"  
  
"What's wrong honey?"  
  
"Jordan. She's-she's leaving us!"  
"What?"  
  
Sara buried her face in mother's hair."She's leaving. Just like Rachel. Don't let her go mom. Don't let her go." She sobbed into my mom's shoulder and mom rubbed her head in an attempt to calm her.  
  
I was just making it down the stairs. Non got up from squatting and glared at me."What's going on?" she asked.  
  
Chapter Nine Cassie  
  
This was the spot that we were supposed to meet. This was where we would depart for our journey. Erek, Jordan, and I. I started to round up Toby and a few of her gang.  
  
Erek had said,"No. No more."  
  
And I guess he was right. The less you bring, the less you lose.  
  
You're probably wondering just how we plan to pull this little outer space road trip. Well Erek arranged for a ship. I guess he has connections. Don't ask me. I really don't know and I think Erek liked it that way.  
  
I stood there by the ship practically hopping from leg to leg. No, I didn't have to take care of any business before we left. I wasn't nervous either. After all, I spent three years of my life facing certain death. It was just that we were leaving in five minutes and Jordan wasn't here yet.  
  
I looked at Erek. He looked away. Figures.  
  
Finally I saw headlights. It was a van. Why would Jordan arrive in a van. My question was soon asked. Unfortunately.  
  
Jordan's mom was the first to get out.  
  
Chapter Ten Jordan  
  
I saw bewilderment I Cassies eyes.  
  
My mom said hi to Cassie like was nothing even slightly wrong with the situation.  
  
"Um... hey," Cassie said back.  
  
I walked up to her with my luggage.  
  
"What is going on?" Erek asked.  
  
"She found out, Cassie. And now she had to go and invite three other people to come along."  
  
She looked around me an stared in horror at all the people getting out of the van.  
  
There was Marcos mom (she used to be host body to visser one) and dad. And Loren. Tobiass mother though she had no memory of him or Elfangor. Or so I was told. I didn't really get the details on that story.  
  
Erek spoke up for the second time. "Cassie, I don't feel comfortable bringing them. Too big of a risk. Eva? Maybe. But the rest..."  
  
I looked into Cassie's eyes pleading. If my mom didn't go, there was no way she was going to let me get on that ship.  
  
Cassie looked back at me with equally sympathetic eyes. You know, maybe she hadn't lost all her compassion.  
  
Chapter Eleven Cassie  
  
"Give me and Erek a minute to talk," I said.  
  
Erek and I went aboard the ship. I was surprised at first because of the design. It was like nothing I'd ever seen. Not Andalite. Defiantly not yeerk. It looked more advanced.  
  
Erek must have read my mind."It's Chee," he said. Then he quickly got to the point. "Cassie, this is a dangerous mission. We are most likely to die. Well you and Jordan any way. We can't just endanger the lives of innocent people."  
  
"But Erek, these are their children. We can't deny them the right to try and save them."  
  
We talked for a few minutes more before we came to a dission.  
  
I stood on the launch pad bridge thingy. Erek stood a few feet behind me. I spoke up so to make sure that my voice could be heard loud and clear. I-and Erek- wanted to make sure these people knew what kind of mess they were about to get in. We knew Eva would be able to handle it, but Naomi? We tried that going-into-hiding-thing earlier before the war ended and it did not work out too well. We were doing something very important and Naomi tried to escape. She was defiantly a potential risk.  
  
"Okay, everyone, listen up. This is not a game, or some wild, thrilling, exciting adventure. This is real. Real life. Real battles. Real death. Now we don't want anyone to get hurt, but we...we understand that these are your love ones. And in being so, we also understand that you'll do anything to try and save them. Go through any suffering. Endure any pain." For some reason, I don't know what it was, an image of Jake found its way into my mind. And I realized that I wasn't just talking to them but to myself as well. "Go through a thousand deaths,"I finished my thought. "But please, please think long and hard before you make this life changing decision." Few seconds pause. "Any body want to turn around now and go home is welcome. You won't be thought of as a coward just... smart." I looked at still faces. The only places these people would be moving is on that ship. I waited a few seconds more for any one whose little voice was nawing at the back of there minds. No takers. "All right." Your funeral, I added silently.  
  
Chapter Twelve Jordan  
  
Being on a ship is great. Once you get over the fact that you're a gazillion feet above the ground, anyway. We were on a Chee ship. I don't exactly know who the chee are or what one is, for that matter, but they make a cool ship. They have this big windshield thing but like in the top of the ship, above the sleeping quaters. The stars are so beautiful! You can just sleep up there and forget about your worries, forget about the past, and even the future, and just be in that moment in time and be under the stars. I wonder...I wonder if Rachel ever felt this way. The way I feel...  
  
"Jordan." My mom broke my thoughts. "Meeting."  
  
"Oh. Ok"  
  
We met in an area that looked like something straight out of an Arabic fairy tale. Brightly colored fabrics highlighted with gold trimming and design. Statues and my favorite: big, comfortable, overstuffed, floor pillows. We each had one. We sat Indian style on them in a circle. Mom was to my right, Peter to her right, then Eve, Cassie, Erek, and Loren to my left.  
  
My mom spoke up. Must be the lawyer in her. She is such a control freak, and she doesn't evan know it. Things just absolutely go her way.  
  
"Cassie thought that it would be a good idea if we all got to know a little bit about each other," she began. "I think it is best for us, giving our current situation, to maybe learn somewhat personal things about one another. Our likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses..." she let her voice trail. There was no one who really wanted to go first. "Well, we'll start with me. I'm Naomi Berenson. This is my daughter Jordan. I'm a lawyer and um... uumm...I like maccaroni and chese?"  
  
Everyone laughed which lightened the mood a bit.  
  
Cassie spoke next. "Well, I think you all know me. Cassie or the Cassie as in Animorph Cassie. I work for the government with the free Hork Bajar. Uh... Rachel...Rachel was my best friend. Jake was um..."  
  
"Your special friend," I said. Mentioning Rachel had gotten to me.  
  
It sure got mom perked up. "What? You and Jake?"  
  
Cassie gave me a look that friend give each other when one spills about the other's secret crush. To tell you the truth I was made at Cassie right then. She should be with Jake. One reason being that she and Jake were made for each other. Another reason being was that a good guy like Jake was hard to come by.  
  
"Yep. He even asked her to marry him before the war ended."  
  
"JORDAN!!!"  
  
"She turned him down."  
  
Cassie looked like she was about to die from embarrassment.  
  
"What!!!" Mom.  
  
"What?"Erek. The tone he said that word in whipped the blushes and smiles off of every ones faces. I was starting to regret ever saying anything at all.  
  
"Erek, is there something wrong,"mom asked.  
  
"Cassie, can I talk to you."  
  
She nodded her head a followed him out of the room. But just before a gave her an apologetic glance. She gave me a signal that it was okay.  
  
A few seconds of deathly silence passed after they left. Then we resumed getting to know each other, one by one. Chapter Thirteen Cassie  
I followed Erek to a small part of the ship that looked like a glassed in balcony. The stars were beautiful but the mood was not.  
  
"Cassie, you disappoint me greatly. I told you Jake needed you. How can you not be together?"  
  
"Wait a minute. Why is it so important wether Jake and I are together? And besides, you heard what Jordan said. He proposed to me before the war ended. You told me this after."  
  
"Cassie, Jake need's you, and I in a way you need Him. No matter what you two may think."  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Please, Erek. Jake doesn't need me. He needs the war. Maybe he didn't before. Maybe if we'd have never walked through that construction site, things would be different. He would be different. But we did, and we fought, but Jake just can't seem to shake that off of him."  
  
It was true. After the war, Jake was a different person. Different from my Jake, the one before the war. And even different from the Jake during the war. At least that Jake knew what to do with himself. But the after-war-Jake. He was idle. He didn't go forward or even back. He just stayed in neutral.  
  
"But he needs you there. He needs you by his side. All his accomplishments, all his victories, there in vain without you. Don't you see? Your like this goal that he never reached and is never going to reach and it's going to tear him up inside and no matter how much good stuff he does, it's never going to be enough."  
  
I seldom got mad, but I was mad right then. Mad because Erek was right. Mad because he knew what to do, and it was crystal clear and I didn't even see it. Mad because he made it seem so easy. But mostly mad because it was the truth. And I didn't want to hear it.  
  
I said the only thing I could think of right then. "Yeah? Well you can go tell Jake that," I snapped and walked out of the room.  
  
Chapter Fourteen Jordan  
  
Man oh man, Eva and Peter sure had a lot to deal with. Especially Eva. I couldn't believe she was host to visser one. Of course I knew but she'd never actually told us about it. Must have been terrifying, what she went through. She was so brave. Even after she was free going back to give earth a sure chance.  
And Peter, he even got married to someone else. No wonder Marco was all worked up. His mother wasn't dead.  
  
And Loren. I'm not even sure why she's here. She's Tobias's mother ,as you probably well know, and Elfangor, the Andalite, his father, but she doesn't remember either of them. But you know? It's cool because she loves both of them just the same. But still. I can sense it. There's something in the back of her mind. Something that she needs to know.  
  
And in all of an instant it all became clear to me. I knew why she was here.  
  
She needed answers. Because without them, she was incomplete.  
  
Chapter Fifteen Cassie  
  
It was our second day aboard the ship. Jordan was loving it. Her favorite part was the sky. Her mother, Naomi, told me that back home she loved to look up at the stars. They were the only thing certain in this life. The stars would always be. You could count on them to. Unlike some people.  
  
My anger for Jake, that I never knew I had, arose. How dare he? How dare he make decisions with my life? All our lives. How dare he use us to his liking to win the war? He had NO right. How dare he, how dare he, how dare he...  
  
The notion kept repeating itself in my mind until I felt the water begin to fill my eyes. How dare he...until the tears begin to roll down my cheeks. How dare he...Like a slow steady chant. How dare he, how dare he, how dare he...  
  
Then everything went black.  
  
Suddenly I wasn't in this world anymore. I was in another one, where you could see clearly between night and day. Dark and light. There were no merges. No shades of gray. Just a plain distinct line separating good and evil.  
  
Then I knew. I felt it. Crayak. Not just him, though. The Ellimist also. I could hear them talking to me. No, it was more like a feeling. From both the inside and the out at the same time. I felt them speak to me. Through me.  
  
Crayak. Crayak was stronger. There were flashes. Flashes of Jake. The war. Death. Rachel. My parents. The living creatures I've killed. The yeerks. The Ellimist. And it made me mad. It made me sick. And the anger grew inside me until I felt like I was about to explode.  
  
And then. Then there was the Ellimist. Not the one that angered me, but the one that tried to reason with me. He showed me images too. But good ones. And the calmed me. And they soothed me.  
  
My breathing became steady. My eyes opened. I was on the floor with everyone around me.  
  
"What...what happened?"I asked.  
  
Jordan spoke. "You fainted...I think. And you started to shake real violently. And then you stopped."  
  
Oh, but something more than that happened, I thought. Something much more. I knew this. I realized. It was a battle between good and evil. And good had won.  
  
This time.  
  
Chapter Sixteen Jordan  
  
What had just happened with Cassie a few hours earlier was way freaky. She just fell, and it was like she was having a seizure or something.  
  
Now she's on bed rest. Erek's order. Excuse me: Dr.Erek. Apparently he had been some kind of medical person a really, really long time ago.  
  
"Jordan?" It was my mom.  
  
"What is it?" I asked.  
  
"Ah, nothing. I just wanted to talk a bit. It's been a long time since we talked." She sat on the bed.  
  
"Yeah, okay. About what?"  
  
My mom let out a little chuckle. "You know, I don't really know. I was hopping you could start something up."  
  
'Knock, knock'  
  
It was Eva. "I'm sorry. I'll just come back later-"  
  
"NO, no," my mom protested, "it's okay. We could use the company."  
  
Eva sat on the bed too. Good thing it was queen size. Erek sure did know how to pick a girl's luxury items.  
"So, what're we talking about?"  
"So far..."I said, "nothing."  
  
Eva gave the thumbs up sign. "Cool," pause. Then, "so, have any secret crushes lately?"  
  
I didn't think your face could go beet red in a millisecond. I always assumed it was a gradual thing.  
  
"Yes," my mother prompted, "do tell."  
  
I suddenly thought of someone. "I always thought Marco was cute."  
  
"Uh. A mother's pride and joy," Eva said with mock passion.  
  
"Really? I've never really seen Marco. I mean I've seen him, but I never, like, paid any attention to his looks."  
  
"You probably didn't see him." Eva said. "What, with your super model height and him being a bit...short."  
  
We all burst out laughing.  
  
"Don't tell Marco I said that," she laughed. "But really, who knows maybe if we find them-"  
  
"Which we will," my mom said reassuringly.  
  
"-maybe something might spark. I would love to see my son with a girl like you. Not some bimbo who runs of with some tycoon the second he goes missing."  
  
"Thanks" I said.  
  
I guess all the love talk got us to thinking about Cassie and Jake.  
  
"You know," Eva said, "it's really a shame that Cassie and Jake aren't together. They would have made a really nice couple."  
  
"Tell me about it," I muttered.  
  
"I wish this whole war would have never started in the first place."  
  
"What? And have a totally normal life?" I told my mom. "Not likely."  
  
"It's just so unfair."  
Yes. It was unfair. It really was.  
  
Chapter Seventeen Cassie  
  
When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Loren. It surprised me that she would do that. I mean, she didn't even know me.  
  
"Hey. You feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah," I said sitting up. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I just came by to check up on you. Isn't like I have a whole lot to do around here."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Is that a problem?"  
  
"No, it's fine." She propped the pillows up behind my back. "And greatly appreciated."  
  
She sat back down in the chair.  
  
"Something's bothering you," I told her.  
  
She shook her head and her eyes fluttered. "I-it's nothing. Just..."  
  
"What?"  
  
She then looked at me square in the eye. "Did you see him?"  
  
I knew who she was talking about. Elfangor.  
  
"Yes. Everything Tobias probably told was true. He is your son. Elfangor was your husband. And... and we did see him. Only once though. When... when visser three killed him."  
  
Loren started to cry. "It's not fair," she said disgustedly.  
  
"You're right Loren. It isn't fair. None of it. The war. Rachel. Me. Jake. My parents. Everything. And knowing the Ellimist, you probably had this wonderful life before. But in another life. And you know what else? It was probably yanked from you in the blink of an eye, just like us. And it isn't fair. To you, me, and even all the other people we effect. But it is. And now we have to deal with it. Now we can either win this war, like Marco did, or we can either let it win us, like Jake. What's it gonna be?"  
  
In the end, no matter how Loren felt, no matter how scared she was, how intimidated, I knew that she would make the right choice. She would give it her all. For her. For Elfangor, a love she, in this lifetime, never knew. And for Tobias, a son she would always love regardless. She would be strong. She would tough it out. For them, she would.  
  
For them.  
  
Chapter Eighteen Jordan  
  
I was in the shower when I heard the announcement. They had found a yeerk ship. Two actually. A blade ship-the blade ship- and a simpler yeerk ship.  
  
I got out of the shower and dried off as fast as I could. I ran into Cassi-collided with her actually-and we both almost fell down. We were both thinking the same thing. One word was running through both our minds. Jake.  
  
Well, maybe two for me. I think there was a flash of Marco somewhere up there in my head-but mostly Jake.  
  
Oh goodness, this had to be it. This had to be them. If it was, we could all go home. Everything would be alright. We could all go home and live the normal lives we were supposed to have.  
  
Yeah right, Jordan, wishful thinking.  
  
I reached the bridge a few minutes after Cassie. Every one else was already there.  
  
"Is it them?" I practically screamed, "is it them?"  
  
"We don't know," Erek said. His tone was surprisingly calm. Must be the android in him.  
  
"It looks different. Like they changed it." Eva.  
  
Cassie was glaring intensely at the screen. You'd think it was about to burst. She was mouthing something. 'Come on,' I think.  
  
I focused my attention back on the screen instead of on her.  
  
"Look!" Loren cried pointing at the screen.  
It was another ship coming up fast behind the smaller yeerk ship. It fired! The smaller yeerk ship jolted paused in for a few seconds as it's lights went out because of system failure.  
  
"Erek..." Cassie.  
  
Erek didn't answer, just worked some controls. Suddenly a light came from the chee ship we were in. It shown all the way to and over the failed ship, and as if it were magnetized, 'dragged' it to us.  
  
"There are no life forms aboard," Erek said. "I'm bringing it in anyway. Maybe we can check it out. The real battle's inside, though. If Jake and the others are even here, they must be inside."  
  
"Erek. What kind of weapons does the ship carry?" Cassie asked. Looking him square in the eyes. It seemed as though she were expecting there not to be any, but asked anyway just for hope's sake.  
  
He looked back at her with mirrored eyes. "None."  
  
Cassie looked slightly mad, but like I said, I believe she was expecting that answer.  
  
"This ship has no weapons?!" Eva asked in disbelief.  
  
"It's a chee thing," Cassie. "I should have known."  
  
"How about a force field?" Eva agian.  
  
"Already up."  
  
"Is it any good? Will it hold if in combat?"  
  
"Chee technology is more advanced than Andalite," Cassie said. "Way more advanced. It'll hold."  
  
"It's in," Erek said. "The ship."  
  
Oh. I was wondering what he was talking about at first.  
  
"Maybe one of us could go and check it out." It was the first time I'd actually heard Peter speak. "I could go if you want."  
  
Erek considered that. "Be careful. We don't know what you'll find."  
  
"I'll go with you," Eva said.  
"Me too," Naomi.  
  
The three were on their way to the hold, then the screen started to snow in and make that irritating noise it does when a channel on tv is having technical difficulty.  
  
"Eva, Naomi, the screen!" Loren cried.  
  
The screen started to come clear.  
  
"If we can be able to see them, then they can be able to see us," Erek said.  
  
I don't think anyone really had paid attention to what he'd just said. With very good reason. I'd never seen anything like I was seeing know on screen.  
  
Chapter Nineteen Jake  
  
Searing pain ran through my shoulder blade. Nothing new really. I was in my tiger morph. Nothing new either. Just like before.  
  
Hey, I'm Jake. Few know me as a normal human teenager-or man now. Most know me as Jake the Animorph. 


End file.
